Sorry I'm Late To The Party

I didn't realize you had started.  It's been a busy couple of weeks and I'm out of the loop.

Hi....I'm Kat!  I'm fifty one, married 25 years and the mother of three.  My oldest daughter is 20 and is living with us as she's taking a semester off from the University of Pittsburgh.  I also have a daughter who is 17 who has one more year of high school ahead, and a son who is 13 preparing to become a bar mitzvah.  I also have two golden retrievers who are my constant companions.

My husband is an executive in a publicly traded company...I'm a stay at home mom.

Somehow, I don't think this is what I was really meant to be.  One day....I'll figure it out.

I've been journaling on AOL for 4 years now.  That surprises me.  I never thought it would stick.  But it has and I'm happy about that.  I know I've seen all your screen names before....I know some of you better than others but I look forward to getting to know you all well.  My journal Walk With Me... is private, but if you wish I will add you as a reader.  I also keep a photoblog, In My Dreams I Can Fly...

I am a person of roots.  I lived the first half of my life in Indiana, where my family resided for over a century.  The second half, I lived in eastern PA....which I came to love as MY home.  In the last year, I have relocated to Long Island, NY.  It's a lovely place, but I am having a difficult time getting "settled".  I never could have imagined how difficult a move like this could be.  I feel very much adrift.

I'm a dabbler.  I yearn for artistic outlets and try my hand at many.  I've also got a bit too much perfectionist in me to really let my creativity out.  I have a screaming inner critic.  However, I love photography and textile art.  I find photography to be something that really lets me escape from the pressures and demands of everyday life.  I love how it engages me in the minute details of things around me.

I am an environmentalist.  My degree is in environmental science.  I worry about what is happening in the world and environmental short sightedness.  I love all things outdoors...hiking, camping, birds and wildlife, and of course photography.  I love to travel and have deep seated wanderlust.

I live a very comfortable life, wanting for little that is material   But if I had it all to do over again, I can't help but wonder if I wouldn't do it differently.  I love my children with all my heart and wouldn't give them up for anything.  However,  I feel like there is so much more that I have missed.  And this move has put me in a place where I feel like I'm living someone else's life.  It's inauthentic for me.  So my task at hand it to get my bearings and set a course that makes sense for the second half of my life.  At the risk of sounding selfish...I'm ready to make it more about ME now.